Get Your Priorities Straight

I never lived through the Great Depression, but I've had family members and friends who did, and their experiences parallel many of the hard times I've lived through with my wife and children in our most desperate times. I know what it's like to not have enough money for food and to donate plasma in order just to have enough to buy bread at the discount store. We've had to keep our kids home from school on field trip days because we didn't have two dollars for the activity. We know all too well what it's like to be homeless or live in substandard or crowded conditions.

There are people who claim they don't have money for the necessities of life (food, rent, car insurance, gasoline, repairs, clothing for the children and so forth), yet they have money for non-necessities. This burns me up. Let me go down the list:

Cigarettes - no, you don't need to smoke. Exercise some willpower and quit. This is an expensive habit/addiction that nothing good can come of.

Alcohol. Once again, nobody needs it in their life. Alcohol is not only expensive, but in many cases it is THE major cause of many problems in family and personal life. Quit. Get help. Join AA if you need to.

Coffee and energy drinks. I've never needed caffeine and I know many people who live fine without it. Some people spend a LOT of money on coffee and energy drinks. This is yet another addiction that if never started, a person does better without it. You can quit this too. You don't need it.

Weed and other drugs. Yes, weed is a drug. It's not a medicinal herb and it's not a necessity. Don't keep trying to convince yourself that you're taking your medicine when you get stoned. This is an expensive habit (and may I dare say addiction, for many). If you can't quit, get help. If you're living in a state where it's still illegal, keep in mind that getting incarcerated will cost you even more and could ruin your chances vocationally. Even if it isn't illegal, there are many employers who won't hire stoners. If you can't afford to pay for legitimate healthcare (from real doctors and other medical professionals) you definitely can't afford weed and other street drugs.

Going out to eat. Whether it's fast foods or fine dining, you will spend much more on going out to eat than you do cooking a balanced meal at home. If you are struggling to pay rent every month, you shouldn't be dining out.

Steak and lobster. I get that we all want a nice meal every once in awhile. Maybe that's ok, but maybe not. It depends on what you can afford. Unless you've got more money than you can spend, you can't do this on a regular basis. Save the expensive meals for special occasions (that is, if you can even afford to pay for necessities first).

Concerts and other events. We all need some escape and fun. I wish I could afford to go to concerts too, but I can't. Find an activity that doesn't cost money. If you can't afford living expenses, you can't afford to pay for tickets. Have a barbecue at the park or organize a ball game. You don't have to pay money to find enjoyment in life.

Music, apps and accessories. It's only a dollar here and there, but it adds up. This is one other thing you can't afford if you're struggling to make ends meet.

Expensive phones and plans. Having a cellphone for many people has become a necessity. It's just the way our lives are changing collectively. That being said, there are cheaper phones and plans. You don't need the newest iPhone. You can get by with a bargain phone that has the necessary features - and even some bonuses - without putting yourself in a financial strain. I've used less expensive Android phones and Strait Talk for many years and have gotten by just fine.

Designer clothes and shoes. Shop at Wal-Mart. That's where poor people shop. Let's face the realities. If you are struggling to pay rent and put food on the table, you're poor. Stay away from the mall. And for goodness sakes, how many pairs of heels do you need anyway?

Cable TV, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime... Should I go on? These monthly expenses are luxuries. Poor people can't afford luxuries. Are you getting the hint by now? Cut the cord. Check out books and movies from the library.

Fireworks. Just don't. If you have a craving for fireworks on the Fourth of July, watch the public display or hang out with a friend who bought some. You really don't need to blow your money on fireworks.

Tattoos. This should go without saying, but for some reason poor people seem to be able to come up with enough money for tattoos and body piercings, but are driving around with bald tires on their car and their kids are wearing clothes that don't fit them. Once again, you don't need them and they'll limit your ability to get hired. You kinda need to get hired if you want to have a job to be able to afford living expenses.

Hobbies. If your equipment, tools and activities are not earning you money, they're not an investment. They're just hobbies. When you're poor, you have two choices: 1) Use your tools and equipment to earn money. 2) Hold off on buying tools and equipment and paying admission to events or classes related to your field of interest until you can afford it. Some hobbies are extremely costly. I know because I have some expensive hobbies. I'm also in a position where I can afford them at this time though. I've had to put many of these desires on the back burner or be a minimalist in these hobbies for decades while I struggled to raise a family. When push comes to shove, you may have to sell some of these "investments" to pay for rent or put food on the table.

Credit cards. These can get away from you really quickly. If you have a spending problem, the last thing you need is a credit card. I'm not saying cut it up or cancel your card, necessarily, but do whatever you need to get out of debt and get to where you are paying off your credit card every month. Many expenditures that are put on credit are not necessities. If it's unexpected car repairs or home maintenance, travel to family emergencies or other urgent matters, that's another thing. Even then, be wise in your decisions. If you don't have the cash, you can't afford the credit.

I realize that none of us is without flaw in making financial decisions, but over and over and over again I witness those who continuously make unsound choices regarding their expenses. I've helped family members and friends and will continue to do so, but there are limits. There are limits as to how much money I can (or should) fork out to those who otherwise could help themselves out of a bind. It's not easy. It's never easy. I still struggle with my finances, but I also don't spend money on a lot of things that I see others squandering their hard-earned (or unearned) cash on. I also save up money that I get from side hustles to pay for my expensive hobbies. The last thing I want to be a part of is enabling people in their destructive habits, addictions and runaway spending. Everybody wants to be financially solvent... even successful. There are good habits and bad habits that determine your financial outcome though. I can't promise you financial success if you keep the bad habits to a minimum, but I can predict (with a very high degree of accuracy), that if you continue with poor choices and habits that you'll always be broke and you'll never have anything to show for the money you've earned.